Boarding school!!! is it that great???

ok firstly don't get me wrong with the title..i'm not trying to pick up a fight or anything... just so that we're clear i'm not someone who talks rubbish about boarding school students because i'm not one (eventhough i know the only person who probably will or wont read this is my pal and would never get the wrong idea)...the problem here is a was one...i was a boarding school student... i endured the 5 years of heaven and hell of a boarding school life...what usually remains in my memories are the sweet, embarassing ones, etc but recently i started thinking (havent done it for a while)...my mom asked me this questions:

-What do you feel about a boarding school life?
-Did you regret going to a boarding school?

and the most important question
WILL YOU SUGGEST SOMEONE TO GO TO A BOARDING SCHOOL/ YOUR SCHOOL?

i didnt answer her last questions..

my answer for the first was...yeah i had fun there. it was totally awesome..
to the second..no i was thankful i was there
i was thankful i had the opportunity to meet wonderful people from all states of malaysia.. to know the beauty of having friends outside of the world i'm used to....i dont think that i'm exaggerating anything..
by staying in a boarding school we learned how to survive...
we learn how to comunicate with others..
we learn how to compromise..
we learn how to respect each other's privacy...
etc

but after it i'm starting to regret one thing...we'll be far from each other...we faced heaven and hell together and now after 5 years we're apart... maybe others still meet occasionally but we cant avoid to have close friends and i cant help it if my closest friends live miles away from me... i'm stuck at home because i dont have any friends around....
it was kinda my fault for not keeping in touch with my friends from primary school but what was i to do.. everyone had their own handphone back then except me.. igot mine when i was in form3... others still have their old friends contact numbers but i did'nt so that kinda made me the worst one could have i ever wished not to have..

i am currently in the proccess of pursuading my parent to let me go to my friend's house... eventhough  i already know that i'm fighting a losing battle but i still want to give it a shot.. i dont think i would lose anything even if i try... i really miss travelling on a bus on my own... it's not that i dont like my family..its just that when i'm alone i'm forced to be independant..to survive and not just hide behind my mom..i tend to do that esp now that i'm trapped in this house without any contact to the outside world...

when i was in the all girls boarding school i developed this fear of talking to people of the opposite sex. starting the year 2010 a started slowly overcoming my fear and by 2011 i was cured( kinda)...now this year it started again.. worst this time because its not just fear to the opposite sex but to anyone who i dont know  (even my driving teacher)...

maybe all this problems arouse because i failed to conduct myself well... but i blame it on the poor exposure to outside people both at school and home... its horrible and terifying for me to even talk to my cousins and aunts because first i have issues in remembering names and second i often confuse the hierarchy  order.

so back to the story...the terrifying question aroused because my mom wanted me to advice a cousin who was worried about going to mrsm... she wanted me to list the advantages of going to a boarding school and the only advantage i could think of was the fame... and obviously i couldn't answer that....after a few moments after persuasion from my mom to think about the best thing i did at school i thought about the time i had not being at school, breaking the laws etc...and i could'nt provide this as and answer either...so it really did put me in a difficult situation... what i wanted to say to the mentioned cousin was 'save yourself' but i couldn't because she was not there and i cant pass the message to her mother...

in conclusion living was like heaven and hell for me in a boarding school.... i thought of committing suicide many times when i was in the down sometimes for no reason at all..but when you've got the hang of it school is a bliss...