fatty

don't fat people deserve to be happy too?

I don't believe in those movies where a fat girl gets the dream guy...
realistically everyone look at the outer appearance of someone..

a girl will like a handsome guy who dresses smartly, coolly, with a hot body
and a guy will like a hot woman with a sexy curvaceous body and big asset...

i dreamt that i met the guy of my dream and confessed
but the reply was disappointing...
i was rejected..
the reason was simple enough.. coz i was  am FAT

i kept having the same dream over and over again but different people..
everyone was the same

am i not meant for a happy ending??
did i do something so bad that i dont deserve my happy ever after???
whatever it is...

i kept being tormented because i am fat...
by my friends (whether they meant it or not)
by my family (they just like to rip apart any self esteem i have or had)
by my classmates

everyone assume that i purposely stuff myself to death so that i could be fat and i love being fat...
no one really knows what i have to face through... what i had to endure...

i tried dieting but it just made me gain more weight...
i tried jogging but it made my breast jiggle and i dont like that....
they say i made excuses and that i dont even try.... is it??
i even tried puking back what i have eaten but that just make me more pathetic...
they laugh at all the effort i make...
am i worth living?

i'm just turning back here because i have no one to talk to
no one who would understand me
and i just want someone to listen to me
not judge me or criticise me...
 just be with me..
not let me be alone
it's all i am asking